I’ve struggled with my self-image for a very long time. I grew up hating a lot of things about myself: my face, my ashy skin, and my physique, to name a few. I let it become a comment on my personal worth, so I often felt worthless.

I put all my chips on expanding my mind; I really wanted to paint myself as “the smart one”. Though as much as I love the friends I made from having that mindset, I still felt extremely insular in my sense of community. I got into a bodybuilding regiment at the end of college, which was when I started really investing in my body (I still have stretch marks from those days). And it felt good, but it was hard to maintain. And I had a hard time finding a sense of community in that after we all graduated and moved away.

COVID-19

In the most ridiculous form of irony, COVID-19 and social distancing were some of the best things to ever happen for my self-image. Due to a combination of isolation and barbershops being closed, I stopped cutting my hair in June 2020. There was an awkward phase that lasted through the rest of summer and early fall. But that didn’t matter; I had no social or professional events to look good for.

I reached a certain point where I thought to myself: “Let’s see where this goes.”

In early 2021, I hired a photographer to revamp my dating profiles. I still had the long hair, but went with it anyways. And not only did the number of matches go up, but a lot of the first messages I got from women were compliments on my hair.

*Side note: Hire a professional photographer to do your dating profiles. It makes SUCH a big difference

I decided to keep it going. I’ve continued growing out my hair, and I’m enjoying the process. Finally, there’s a part of me that attracts attention; there’s a part of my body that I feel good about. When I hug people, they love the smell of my hair. When I let it down, I feel like Tarzan or Aladdin (which also ended up being my Halloween costume in 2021).

Here’s where I’m at today:

It’s been 2 years since I’ve gotten more than a light trim, and I’ve become extremely protective of my hair. To the point that watching this is enough for me to Hulk out. And I get anxious whenever I see a white hair or think about male pattern baldness.

My Routine:

I only shampoo twice a week. There’s a number of reasons, but one is to prevent hair from becoming too oily. I do use conditioner every day.

I also take biotin, which is a vitamin supplement specifically for hair. This is available over-the-counter at most pharmacies.

Most importantly, I put oil in my hair every day. I usually alternate between argan oil and coconut oil. Not only does it help get the tangles out, but it makes my hair smell amazing.

Last but not least, long hair is a chore to maintain. I have to brush it every morning in order to get all the tangles out. A few strands come loose in the process. But it’s all worthwhile to me. And if you do grow out your hair, you’ll want to buy one of these; trust me on this.

Parting thoughts

As superficial as it is, I work very hard to maintain my hair, and I take a lot of pride in the results that it’s created for me. And the biggest result I want is to stand out; to be a little different; to be uniquely me. And right now, my hair is a part of that.

I am scared to lose my hair, and I know that it will happen someday. I won’t lie; that’s going to be a struggle for me to accept. But I’m going to take good care of my hair, so I can enjoy it for as long as possible.

My hair is a gift I’ve given myself. And I want to share that, so that when my hair inevitably goes away, there’s a lot more beauty and self-love that continues on. I want to people learn to love themselves through personal development, the same way I did.

Personal investment is one of the best investments I can make, because it empowers me to give more; not just to myself, but to the world. What gifts are you willing to give yourself?